1. edenwolfie:

    just-raowolf:

    edenwolfie:

    my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

    We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

    First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

    A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

    This was a good start.

    We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

    Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

    Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

    You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

    He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

    Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

    He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

    We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

    He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

    But I’m not.

    Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

    We’re married!?

    Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

    He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

    We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

    Vegetarian.

    Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

    We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

    You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

    They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

    He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

    Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

    I want a divorce!

    And he walked out of the classroom.

    The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

    I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

    holy shit that’s glorious

    (via utterlyconfusedwithconfusion)

  2. averagefairy:

    when youre laying down and your pet walks across your internal organs and youre like OW FUCK and they dont even care they just keep standing on your spleen like its their job

    (via xfay-victoria)

  3. gayboyfriencl:

    You should want a dumb,sensitive, self-conscious, annoying, clingy, emotional, bad bitch like this

    (via wiggles-theclown)

  4. tenlocked:

    luciebleedinmiller:

    onlyconsultingangel:

    all-aboard-the-feels-train:

    *dramatic soap opera music plays in the distance*

    Two households, both alike in genocide

    In fair Gallifrey, where we lay our scene

    From ancient grudge break to new mutiny

    Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean

    From forth the fatal loins of these two foes

    A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life

    (via nightvalesciencelab)

    phanplacentaa:

    09lupe23:

    mymontagues:

    He’s a natural when it comes to creepin’ on celebs

    That’s how he got Phil

    its funny cause its true

    (via justnormalfangirl)

  5. One of the saddest and most hil- NO BITCH, the sad thing here is the fact that you're a stripper. If you want respect, maybe you should've graduated high school. 😂😂 when did stripping become a legitimate career?

    stripperina:

    Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.

    castiels-little-fallen-angel:

    catastrophic-fallen-angel:

    teambullshitsfakefan:

    omgstoppp:

    itsreddqueen:

    kalliat:

    dear everyone who says he’s a good person

    he also punched goofy too, what an imbecile.

    Canada can take him back anytime now

    He can go back into his mother’s womb anytime now

    I never had a valid reason to hate him, other than I hate him. Now I do.

    We don’t want him back……

    (via rosemoriarty1895)

  6. varysbueller:

    tinyredbird:

    reallyreallife:

    EVEN IF IT IS ONLY 65p YOU’D AT LEAST EXPECT THEM TO USE THE WORD “PUPPY”.

    Dog baby

    Eric forgot what puppies are...

    OMG I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO USE IT BUT I DID IT I DID THE THING

    (via lickthattotoro)